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just thought I’d share my ‘meh’ day today. quick and simple.

as my regular readers know I’ve had back problems that caused me to be hospitalized and I’m now on the long road to rehab.

now I have a ‘hooray’ moment – I’ve been accepted into the pain clinic officially. and seriously, honestly and truly I am so thankful for this and so very committed to learning, changing and getting control of my pain.

but…

here comes my selfish ‘meh’ moment. after two separate appointments at an hour each, plus another three earlier this week, I’m kinda fresh out of ‘yee ha’ and now into ‘meh’ mode.

I’ve got to commit two afternoons and six hours a week to this. my ‘meh’ isn’t because I’m being selfish about my time, it’s more about the fact that I’ve now got to find somebody to look after Miss E for six hours a week (that’s a fair bit to put on a 15-mth old, as well as the carer/s) and I’ve got to find somebody to pick up The Boy after school. I’ve also got to fit this around my life and it’s not just the hours it’s also the brain hours and body hours that I’ll be suffering with…

meh…

I’m just tired thinking about it already.

but, my friends, as you know my back is super-bad and my pain (as you may not know) is pretty much constant to the point where I’m currently on a fair bit of rather serious medication and I have a hydrotherapy and a Pilates session already each week.

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argghhhhh… this is usually where the anxiety kicks in and I have a mild breakdown. I’ve already pretty much withdrawn from all social and not-really social but necessary for community-life currently because I just cannot do that along with constant pain.

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Plus looking after husband and children, plus putting my health first, plus keeping food on the table the house reasonably clean (that actually does make me crazy!), plus organising my husbands 40th birthday, having his relatives come to stay from interstate, add to that this blog (which keeps me sane because I adore it), and what I consider my ‘real work’, Mrs Jones & Me, which really does keep me sane and gives me contact with other women who are trying to do it all and run a creative business at the same time.

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I’m kinda unsure how I’m going to honestly continue to share ‘slowing down life’ tips with you while things are at this pace because I’m hardly doing that, am I?

But you know what… I’m gonna take few deep breaths, have a line of Cadbury Top Deck (my fave!) and find a way to fit everything in without having a total breakdown. I think…

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Whew!

I feel better after venting.

Apologies about that…

Love to you all and stay tuned to see how I fit it all in…

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Love Mrs Jones x

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