Upon life sucking as a mother, and it’s not why you think…

Upon life sucking as a mother, and it’s not why you think…

What’s on my mind at the moment? Glitter.
Why?

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Yes, Rebecca, why, when I can hear the anguished cries of my beloved daughter in the next room with my husband calming her, would glitter be on my mind?

Bear with me friends as I give you this longish, but I think, rather interesting, backstory…

You see, this month alone I’ve had 4 separate stays in the hospital due to a bulging disc in my back and the complications that have come about from bits and pieces related to this chronic condition I must suffer for life with.

Surely not! I hear you cry! Modern technology! Modern medicine! Modern stuff, anything… Nope. Doesn’t work that way.

Just last week I was told by this State’s most super, of all super doctors who are super at this orthopaedic kind of thing, that I’ll always have ‘episodes’ where my back goes ‘out’. I’ll always need super strong drugs and super awesome doctors to help me during said ‘episodes’ and even super rehab people to build me up again and, of course, rely on my super trusty bloody walking stick AT THE AGE OF 42.

Each and every time this happens – you know, probably a few times a year if I’m unlucky…

As I type this my husband is still comforting our daughter who it seems is probably teething again. And what’s on my mind? My daughter? Nope – that is too painful to think about so I’m doing my best to move over to glitter at the moment. Because I love it. It’s pretty. It makes me happy.

Why? Because if I don’t I think I may just go mad…
Honestly it would be so easy to just let go and stop fighting to keep it together, because life is really rather awful for me, and our family, in many ways at the moment.

You see, Edie my daughter, who will be one in a few days won’t come near me if she has a choice. If she’s given to me she struggles to get away and if she’s got to stay with me for a few minutes she’ll scream the house down before she realises she’s stuck and better make the most of an unfortunate situation.

As a mother, who frankly went through something akin to hell to carry her to a safe gestational state to leave my body, I die a little inside each time she turns away…

Why has this happened and why on earth to me? A mother who a few short weeks ago was the centre of my daughters world?

Well my friends it seems that everything comes at a cost! Some more severe than others…

You see all of the ‘wonderful’, pain relieving medicines I’ve been given to get me moving, need additional medicines to cancel out the rather bad side effects of the ‘wonderful’ medicines; but in addition to the ‘wonderful’ drugs and their additional ‘wonderful’ helpers I still need to take daily doses of ‘restricted’ medicines that give me relief from what is called ‘breakthrough’ pain.

This, on it’s own – besides being a confusing and extraordinarily large amount of pills – isn’t actually that bad…

Well it wasn’t all that bad until I came home from my first hospital stay of 5 days; where, by the way, I found myself a Grandma – hooray (I’ll save that story for another post!).

I’ve never been away from Edie for that long before, and Mr Jones brought her and Dexter in to visit me daily. But when I got home she was not particularly thrilled to be around me, which I took as just her being a little snippity at my ‘holiday’ away from her, the centre of my universe!

Nope. The little narc knew I was on ‘drugs’! She could sense it! It seems that she knew I was on some pretty strong stuff and as a primal protective behaviour decided I wasn’t up to the job of Mama and so Daddy better gear up pretty quickly because he had become her number choice of parent! Fair call… In fact, I felt pretty proud that she had such strong instincts that could protect her.

But, 4 weeks and another 3 hospital stays down the track, I now need to keep something pretty positive in my mind before I go to bed these days… Hence the glitter. It makes me happy – don’t judge.

You see friends, the fabulous and, I’m sure, personally delightful, team of medicos at the hospitals I’ve recently been the guest of, in their collective wisdom actually decided to put me, a patient who is on daily medication for anxiety/depression, onto these ‘wonderful’ medications whose collective side-effects include –

“trouble sleeping; feeling anxious, nervousness, unusual thoughts or dreams or feeling deep sadness; abnormal thinking or changes in mood; unusual changes in mood or behaviour; signs of new or increased irritability or agitation; signs of depression”

Well, God Bless ’em because within 2 weeks on the meds guess who was up at the ED for a midnight visit suffering from some ‘unusual thoughts’: my iPad was controlling my mind (actually this could be closer to reality than I’d thought…); some ‘abnormal thinking’: none of it was Steve Jobs fault and he was NOT to be blamed, especially by Mr Jones; and some ‘unusual changes in behaviour’: I spent a good deal of my trip to the hospital making the exact noise Edie does, a clicking/blurting thing… She’s not yet one. I’m 42. Clearly this wasn’t an awesome change in behaviour…

Don’t fear, I’m not done here, there’s so much more to tell you and the answer to why being a mama is killing me at the moment, and yep, it’s definitely NOT why you’ll think it is…

So darlings, keep a sharp eye out for my next post which includes more of the charming, and I’m sure amusing, adventures of ‘Becky the useless and rather disliked by her progeny Mama’…

Love you all more than ever (the drugs make me say stuff I only think!)
Mrs Jones x

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Some Wonderful Vintage Advertising…

Some Wonderful Vintage Advertising…

Friends, I’ve been super-busy in Mama Land lately, which is why I’ve not been blogging and sharing the love. Honestly, it’s not that I don’t adore you all, it’s just that I’ve had to make some difficult decisions…

Gorgeous, Mr Jones and I had a truly honest and thought-provoking conversation last week that made both of us think about our priorities and how we both put so much effort into parenting and family that we’ve been neglecting the depth of our relationship, as well as the time we give to it…

I’ve moved a little ahead because at the end of the conversation we’d only worked out that we both put our kids before us, as a unit, every time and we really needed regular time to just talk (really talk!) and clear the air of any niggling worries or problems and really enjoy being together like we used to when we were dating…

This then got both of us thinking and after we went off on our week and each discussed the matter with a friend (him), therapist (me… I sound neurotic, but in promise I’m not! It was just that I had my appointment on the Monday!) these fantastic people both spoke a great amount of truth to us.

We both adore our kids – true. We both adore each other – true. But… As husband and wife we really need to stop over-thinking every little kid thing – they will probably turn out okay with the love, support and skills we’re giving ’em – and just enjoy the moment! Ahh… Live in the moment and stop over-analysing, stressing, borrowing worry and most of all that perfectly true quote that applies here, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’! We don’t compare ourselves and worry about other families, but more that we both worry and ‘compare’ what we could have or should have done, or should be doing.

Relax. Enjoy. Appreciate. The moments that are our life.

Kinda simple really. Easier said than done though, so we are now endeavouring to truly put this into practice and take some time for ourselves, alone, to recharge and not think this will damage our kids because we are being selfish; enjoy our days and the ‘bits’ of life they’re made of; enjoy and compliment each other on the great job we are doing just by being loving, caring and honest to each other and our little family…

Whew, again this plan for a quick post has turned into a thesis! My plan was to show you these awesome, and rather funny – looking back nowadays – mid-century advertisements that will give you a laugh, and pause to think about just how our society’s values have changed… Like I’m going to! Hopefully, I’ll look back and laugh at how stressed I used to get… Hopefully ;/

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Matchy, matchy…

Matchy, matchy…
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Matchy, matchy mid-century modern goodness…

So, you can imagine my shock upon realising that I’ve been dressing my daughter the same as me without even realising it!

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Breakfast at Chez Jones

As we were partaking in breakfast this morning I looked at our pajamas and realised that, apart from hers having an awesome deer pattern on them, they were pretty much the same colours and style!

Yup, the style I like is so narrow that I’m pretty much finding mini versions of what I’d like to wear and what seems comfortable and easy to wash and putting the stuff on her!

I’m certainly not a fashionista (yes, I can hear the laughter from my friends as I type) and tend to mix up what’s current with my retro style, making it into something I can live with, and so it seems I am now doing this to Babyness!

The Boy has always known exactly what he likes and what he doesn’t, I’ve made a point of teaching him to think for himself and not follow trends (clothing or otherwise), and we agree on his choices most of the time… Then again, he’s a boy who really doesn’t care much for clothing.

I’ve got no presumptions on how Babyness will feel about clothing and her ‘style’ as she grows. I have days when I feel I simply must look awesome and this is reflected in the amount of time I spend on hair, makeup and clothing, but sadly, the majority of days involve a very simple, but workable, look that is mine. Jeans, black t-shirt, Converse or cute flats, plus if I’m feeling motivated I’ll ‘put on my face’ and do my hair in something other than a ponytail or pigtails (yep… 41 may be getting a little old to rock that look?!).

As a mother should I be setting a ‘better’ example of style and grooming for my daughter? Some would think so… Others may agree with my thinking and feel that there’s heaps more to me that takes precedence over how I look. It’s not that I don’t care how I look, or spend my days wearing pjs or sweats, it’s just that as long as I am clean, fresh and simply attired (albeit always trying to rock a retro edge!) I just don’t care enough about that sort of thing to spend too much time on it.

What about you? Are you always gorgeously dressed (Elkee from KarmicVintage I’m thinking jealously of you!)? How do you/would you dress your kids? Comfort or style? Is it even important to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter!

Here’s to a lovely, stylishly dressed day!

Love Mrs Jones x

Finally got my pix together…

Finally got my pix together…

My little bebe is now 7 months old! Seriously, I cannot fathom where seven whole months has gone… but, regardless of that fact, this morning I decided that enough was enough and I’d better take some proper photographs of the little dear! You see the boy lived a life of his mother constantly taking photographs of him – he knows how to pose, when to smile, not to move and basically how to run a studio, but little bebe has had none of this!

I’ve been so slack busy since she was born (and I no longer have a professional studio setup) that I’ve not gotten the motivation time to take some ‘keepers’, not just pix here and there for family interstate on Instagram. Don’t get me wrong, I really love the ease and immediacy of Instagram and Typic (my fave little app) but there is nothing like the quality you get when utilising the pro equipment you spent thousands of dollars on (thank you, husband for your support and patience during those frugal days!!)!

Here’s a small sample of some of the work we did this morning… think I may offer some Saturday mini-shoots for kids soon…

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On Being Thankful…

On Being Thankful…

I’m SO very much enjoying being a Mama second-time around! Not that I didn’t enjoy it with the boy in any way, I loved it! He honestly made me realise my own strength, ability to love and gave me insight and patience I never knew existed – not to mention showed me how it felt to have a piece of your heart walking around outside in the big ol’ world without protection! Scary, exhilarating and awesome…

Sadly, however, his early months coincided a very stressful marriage breakdown (aren’t they all) that involved alcohol abuse, threats and a great deal of fear and instability which resulted in a sudden lack of home for us. After having to move back in with my parents and start my ‘grown-up’ life all over again from scratch with not much more than our clothing and a car, meant I couldn’t relax and enjoy my sons early years. Money worries, concerns about his safety and our future meant that I could only concentrate on ensuring he was happy, safe and blossoming and I didn’t have time to actually ‘be’ in the moments of being a Mama for me.

This time, however, I have been gifted with the most blessed and happy marriage to a wonderful husband and father to both of my children, making this time around just wonderful. I am truly thankful for this truly amazing gift… a family of my own that is full of laughter, love and fun (don’t worry, we have crappy days too!). My own little family, my extended family, my wider church family and my friends truly make my days just awesome!

How about you? Are you able to enjoy the time you’ve got with your kids at the moment, or is there too much else on your plate? I’d love to hear where you’re at and how you find the headspace to enjoy your kids…

Love Mrs Jones x

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2013 Advent Calendar…

2013 Advent Calendar…

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Hello friends,

today I’ve got a nice little freebie for you to pop up at home! It’s a lovely PDF Advent Calendar that I whipped up for you to print out at home. Just click on the links at the bottom of the post for the 3 separate PDFs.

You can make with the kids and gives you a few options to personalise it however you like or if you’re not child ‘inclined’, just make it for yourself and decorate your wall for Christmas (you could even get somebody else to personalise it for you to give you some surprises!). I hope you enjoy and remember to check your printer settings to make sure it fits your paper size!

Enjoy

Love Mrs Jones x

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Macaroon Kids: Christmas gifts taken care of…

Macaroon Kids: Christmas gifts taken care of…

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Do yourself a favour this Christmas and get your kids gifts over at Macaroon Kids! They have a delightful online store as well as an Etsy store that showcases their limited edition ranges of baby and kids clothing, toys and gifts!

Founded by Amanda Tuckerman, from Geelong, Australia, the stores are both filled with gorgeous vintage-style as well as ‘slow’ and creative toys for kids and their clothing is made using upcycled fabrics. Products not made by Macaroon are all sourced from small businesses or have elements created with fair trade companies with every step of Macaroon Kids being created ethically with both person and environment in mind.

Honestly, could you ask for more this Christmas – or frankly, at any time? I just love their style and their range and have added a number of their products to my lists for little Edie this year – with my number one favourite being the Uncle Goose Classic ABC Blocks! They’re truly beautiful and although she’s still a little bit little for them, she’ll be playing with them in no time!

Vintage & Old School Christmas Gifts for Kids

Vintage & Old School Christmas Gifts for Kids

Vilac Dot Guitar
$26 – frenchtrotters.fr

Baghera – Walker
$110 – connox.com

Traditional Wooden Tea Party Biscuits
$19 – oliverbonas.com

Classic Tin Kaleidoscope
fatbraintoys.com

Janod BBQ Set
$62 – amazon.co.uk

Band-in-a-Box
melissaanddoug.com

Protocol Toys Kazoo
$6.36 – scp.co.uk

Wooden Paddleball
$4.83 – hawkin.com

Sweet Little Houses

Such sweet little houses, from Lillehusetshop